User talk:Turkc54
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Kindly Old Man page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:04, February 10, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:06, February 10, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted as it wasn't up to this site's quality standards. Starting with the smaller things. Titles of stories need to be in quotations. Numbers smaller than nine should be written out. (Especially when starting sentences.) Punctuation issues: "The writer said it was the same M/O as last time(:) death(,) the kindly old man message(,) final call to a loved one.", "Norman had leads that lead us all over the U.S.(,) we found the people started leaving notes about the creature." Wording issues: "He fear (feared) speaking of the old man lest he came back.", "He's (He) lives up to to his title for sure.", "He makes the passing of those who's (whose) time is up painless and instant." Capitalization issues: You switch back-and-forth between capitalizing the "Kindly Old Man" and leaving it uncapitalized. You should be uniform in this decision. "Here's what we know so far: Bullets (bullets) couldn't stop him, nor could any blade, the notes also (said) that the creature couldn't be held at bay with any religious symbol.", "2 (Two) years.", " this. so (So) please head my warning about the Kindly Old Man." Story issues: Your plot advances by years and really could use a divider in-between jumps so as to signify an advancement of plot. While on the topic of this, what is the protagonist's interest in all this? He starts be reading the article and then meeting Norman. From there he decides to embark on a hunt lasting almost a decade. Why? That takes dedication, what is his investment in all of this? I'm also wondering how Norman and the protagonist came up with the notes involving his resistance to bullet, religious artifacts, etc. There seems to be a story/detail there that has been left out. While on the topic of detail, there should be a little more description of the being other than this: "He's a ragged old man. He's a lot like Gandalf. He has an aura of warmth around him but also a chill that creeps upon my bones." Paint a picture for the audience and try to avoid just comparing him to a movie character. Additionally the ending with the protagonist typing it out with the Kindly Old Man in the room ("He's here with me right now. He staring me down." is a bit gimmicky and over-done. (It comes off as odd that the Kindly Old Man would state that, to para-phrase, 'time waits for no man' and then sit down and let the protagonist type out an entire story while waiting. Additionally the mythology/background is a bit odd as in the end you reveal he's basically the Grim Reaper, but earlier on state: "He'd been around in Irish myth for about 3 centuries under various names."I'd think he'd be a little more wide-spread. The story was deleted for issues with punctuation, wording, capitalization, and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:18, February 10, 2015 (UTC)